A Site to show, what's in the mind of Ashlee. . . and to show, my views. . .
Who Knows What Could Happen
Published on May 29, 2004 By Ashlee Ryder In Religion
Today, could be your last. Tomorrow could be your last. Let's face it, any day could be our last day. Any minute could be out last minute. Any moment that you spend with someone, could be the last moment you ever spend with them. What would you do if you knew it would be the last time you see them? How would you say goodbye? Would you make up for anything you have said or done that was out of place in the past? Who knows what could happen. I learned the hard way, never to say anything you don't mean. When I was 13 or so, I told my uncle that I hated him, and then I prayed he would leave. What I said hadn't quite set into my mind, I knew what i said, but i didn't realize what was going to happen 3 days later. He was killed in an accident when he was working. The last words I said to him were, "I hate you." But I didn't hate him, I loved him. I loved him with more love than I could love another. Now he's gone and I can't tell him. I can't show him that I care, and I can't ask for his forgiveness, I miss him. And I'll never forget him. I can't. My aunt has found someone else, and it upsets me. It feels like he's trying to take my uncle's place. I miss my uncle, but my aunt and my cousin need to be happy, so i have to let go of this feeling. Everytime i see my cousin, i hear my words running through my mind. . . It kills me. Watch what you say when you're angry. Who knows what could happen, tomorrow.

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Ashlee Ryder

Comments
on May 29, 2004
I agree that we can't know what will happen in the future, even as soon as the next minute. Interesting article as I always try to live each minute as the last since that minute will never be repeated.

As for your angry words, let go of it. Guilt is a pointless waste of energy since the past can't be unmade. I'm sure your uncle wouldn't want you to carry that around.
on May 29, 2004
Just remember that you cannot hate someone that you don't love in someway. Any strong expression of emotion towards another is based on the fact that you value the person in some way. Your uncle would have known that you loved him. And you can't be too hard on yourself - we were all little sh*ts when we were teenagers!

I definitely agree with your sentiment though. It is too easy to get caught up in the day to day trivialities and forget that it could all be over too soon. Someone once suggested that I was morbid for thinking this way - but I think that is you are realistic about the fleeting nature of life, then you are more likely to get more from it!

Be kind to you.

Suz
on May 29, 2004
thanks, that made a lot of sense, and it made me feel better. I love the feedback you all have been giving me lately, keep it up!!

Ashlee Ryder
on May 30, 2004
GREAT STORY!
on May 30, 2004
I love your writings, they are so down to earth, keep it up
on May 30, 2004
I have mixed emotions on your site...
on May 30, 2004
thanks for the comments, i will take to heart all that you have said
on Jun 10, 2004
on Jun 14, 2004
lol thanks, that made me laugh!